Search For Recognition.

It seems that now more than ever we are given so many opportunities to share experiences, thoughts, pretty much every minute detail of our lives. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, any other social media site you can think of. People can’t help themselves when they want to share extra awesome exciting news of the day. “Checked in at the gym”, having fun with tagged so and so, posting pictures of the latest travels. More often than not I’ve begun to notice that people love to show these things off.

What have you been up to? Oh, well I’ll have you know I’ve been diligently attending Fitness and my Facebook wall with prove it, seeing as I’ve checked in every time I went. Are you doing this for yourself? To feel better about your accomplishments, your goals? In my honest opinion, if you were truly doing it for yourself, you wouldn’t care to post it every darn time you went to break a sweat on the treadmill. But people have went even further, with Instagram being a huge hit, people are now (more than ever) posting pictures of themselves, working out, while also making sure to check off the location at the such and such gym for “reference?” and or “proof?”.

I admit I’ve also been tempted and posted random stuff on the webs. Mostly of my bored cat or bored me, but nevertheless, I put in some filler for somebody’s newsfeed, whether they ignored it and scrolled on, or “liked” it. Half the time I even wonder whatever the point really is. It’s not a proper way to connect with people, we’ve all almost became strangers to each other in this mysterious world of the web. We follow these people we barely know, we stay friends with and see their status updates. Sometimes we even forget why we ever even friended them.

There are some people who denounced the social media, deleted their Facebook, and are probably living a very happy, quiet life. My only thought is that if I would have to deleted my profile, I’d lose the 300+ “friends” (among whom most of them are or have become just acquaintances you’d rather not want to bump into while on the street) and I’d not have a connection with all these people anymore. I do find it fascinating to read peoples’ feeds sometimes, like I’m reading a soap opera or some funny sitcom that has a constant continuation to it on a daily basis.

Perhaps, for now I’ll keep my Facebook. If only for the soap opera feeds.

What Do Women Want?

So that question came up yesterday from an acquaintance. From what I’ve gathered, guys are still very much confused about what girls want and granted, girls do tend to change their minds and moods a lot. I’ll answer from my perspective as a girl:

Girls want attention. That’s all they’re really asking. They do like cuddling, they do like compliments, they do like gifts, and that all falls under ATTENTION. If you spare a girl some time out of your busy schedule, she would be very glad for that. If you can send a cute message, or take her on a walk. Yes, granted, there are many girls who demand attention in the form of materialistic things, such as presents or going to a nice restaurant. It’s their own form of attention want. And the guys’ problem with that is that they seem to be pressured into becoming the stereotypical stud with a set career, a car, and money to spend freely.

Girls, a bit of realism here. If you’re gonna weed out and not give a chance to those guys that don’t match to your high end living lifestyle, you’re gonna have a hard time finding a partner. I’m talking about young guys, who are still trying to establish themselves. (For the older man-child guys, I’ve not much comment. They should get their act together a bit more.)

And guys, if you find that a girl you found interesting at first, has quite suddenly become high maintenance and too demanding, I can totally understand how your love can wilt. If you don’t feel the same for her anymore, it’s best to unhook her and have her go in search of her “better man”. She will find him eventually, with no guarantee he’ll be as nice and caring as you.

If the situation is the other way around, i.e. the guy is demanding, girl had better run and not look back. Nobody deserves a relationship that’s one sided in terms of giving yourself in emotionally. Relationships are best defined when both couples are equal in the amount of effort they put in to make it work. That’s why a lot of the times, it’s plain to see if a relationship will last into old age. Great are those relationships that start off smoothly and continue just as well, with mutual understanding and compassion for each other. Cause early on if you see bumps and potholes, they may be smoothed out if there is willing effort on both parts, but a lot of the times, it’s not the case. Those two parties were probably just not meant to be with each other.

And that’s just fine. There are so many millions of people in the world, it is simply impossible that you’d only be compatible with that one person. It’s only a matter of time before the right person comes along and catches your heart. And he will be the one to win the game.

A Lonely World.

I have a habit of staring at people while riding on the subway. Well, not staring exactly, but more like observing and analyzing. If I don’t have the luxury of having a nice read for my commute, I just start to gaze about and have my imagination take over. It’s not something I’ve consciously thought of doing, but I always tend to create a back story to each person riding the subway in my plain field of vision. It has become quite a pleasant pastime while I ride the train, or take a bus, sometimes even walking past somebody on the street.

There sits the lonely young man in washed out jeans, unkept hair, plaid shirt, his whole face (in thick glasses) hidden behind his laptop perched on top of his backpack. He is probably a very nice, homely man, extremely smart, with a very quirky sense of humor, but not many will be able to look past the “nerdy” stereotype to find out much about him. And no, not the sexy new kind of nerdy that seems to be so popular with all the Judd Appatow movies. So the quiet, lonely, young man will finish his task on the laptop, look sadly about, take the Jay Street Metrotech exit, where he will go into his office building, sit at his lonely, quiet IT desk, and once more bury his face with thick glasses into the work computer.

There walks in a power woman, a career driven super lady, in a pressed suit, fitted in all the right places, sporting pointy red heels for a bit of a dare on fashion at the male dominated financial business work force. Her hair and make up are always flawless, even at 8 am in the morning, and her nails get manicured weekly, each Friday after work. She spends immeasurable amount of money on designer suits, beautiful snakeskin Prada pumps, and Louis Vuitton bags. Her best friends are her work blackberry, her iPhone (on which she plays bubble break), and her iPad, to catch up on the latest in news, gossip, and the likes. She holds herself very straight, always looking forward as though preparing herself to utter a speech, and clutches her belongings as though someone will try to steal them. She gets all these things for herself because she can and because she has no one but her cat waiting for her at home, judging by the fact that she has no engagement ring on her ring finger. She gets off on Herald Square and marches off in a power walk to her financial office where she happily crunches numbers and figures.

Then walks in a couple with three unruly kids. They are dressed in khaki pants with rain boots that have funny pictures on them such as duckies or raindrops. They have hand knit hats and scarves, and perhaps sweaters and socks. Their jackets are an alarming set of neon colors. Orange, red, blue. The parents seem like a happy go lucky couple, while their kids decide to cause full on havoc on the train ride. Of course, for kids, simply standing and holding onto the rail is preposterous, a complete waste of time. Instead, they must dance around the pole, experiment just how loud their voices can get, and generally bother their parents with questions such as “do we get off at the next station?” and “I’m hungry”. The train cart will give a huge sigh of relief when the caravan finally steps off on Carrol Street.

Boy, must I look somber when riding the train, looking at the kind of stories I make up.

Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.

I used to hate coffee. It was too bitter, it made me sleepy all the time, and it was not my thing. I loved tea and would drink cups and cups of it per day. Then one day something miraculous happened and I suddenly couldn’t get enough of the black bean: I got a full time job.

I’ve kind of become too dependent on this aromatic drink. Half a cup in the morning at home, full cup when I come into work. Another cup in the afternoon. Maybe another cup if I simply need more. Perhaps this isn’t so healthy but some studies do show the immense benefits of at least a cup of joe a day. Clears depression, gives you more focus, gives you longer life, cures cancer! (That last one I made up, but who knows, maybe it will in a couple hundred years)

The main reason I used to drink coffee was to wake up. Now I simply like the taste. Just black, with no milk or sugar. Or as some may call it “Eww, isn’t that too bitter?”. And no, it’s not. It tastes just amazing as is, without any additives to it. And I can’t stand it when it’s light or “blonde” as Starbucks has labeled their lightest blend. For whatever reason it’s called “blonde”, but that watered down coffee is simply too wimpy for me. Give me the “bold” over a “blonde” any day! That sounded weird. And speaking of Starbucks, I used to be the biggest slave to them. Getting the Gold Card and everything. Buying their stupid, delicious, but slightly burned, overpriced coffee. I still do, on occasion, pop in to one of the three hundred million Starbucks conveniently situated nearby to get myself something less ordinary. Like a Misto or Chai. Very fancy words for steamed milk coffee or spiced latte.

Yes, if I had to take a survey of what drinking cups people hold in subways or on the street here in New York, I’d say 90% of them would be Starbucks. (The other 10% walk around with thermoses which I am inclined to think hold instant Starbucks packs, cleverly designed to please the eye and named “Via”.) They’re cheaper to buy in bulk and make yourself rather than buying a ready made coffee, but many might argue that it’s the “cute Starbucks cup” with the logo that is so trendy to walk around with. Especially during the holiday season when Starbucks really goes all out on the cup design, complete with a dashing red color and winter motifs. People even collect them for the novelty.





And ever since we got our parents an espresso machine for New Year’s, there has never been a shortage of any kind of coffee-ish drink in our house! Perhaps that’s why I’ve lost interest in Starbucks and rarely visit them. My coffee fix is set for now.

Love Hate Relationships

So I’ve been thinking about the concept of love hate relationships. Things you love to hate, or hate to love. I, for one, have a love hate relationship with food. A lot of the times I find myself hungry but as soon as I get something to eat, I don’t feel so hungry anymore. I suppose if I get my hands on my favorite foods like cheese, mushrooms, mustard, or cereal, I wouldn’t be able to know when to stop eating. It’s odd how most people, if they could eat anything in the world without guilt or consequences, would turn to chips or cheeseburgers. Me? I’d love to be able to eat any kind of cereal to the bottom of the box. What is it about this man created darn thing that I always have boxes and boxes of at home?

So in the end, I do love food but I also kinda hate it. Sometimes. Depending on the food.

Well, for others there’s the love hate relationships with humans. You hate your sister but you also love her or you love to hate your parents. Those are much worse than trivial food relationships (unless of course you struggle with a food disorder). Through my diligent research on the never ending quest for knowledge of love and relationships (mostly from, I find that people drift apart quite easily these days. They just don’t give as much of themselves into relationships as they used to. Society has somehow changed the views of love, hate, and the fine line that runs between. The smallest thing could trigger hate it seems; not washing the dishes, not looking after the dog, leaving for a weekend with questionable whereabouts.

Then there are those that thrive on drama and can’t seem to sit still without stirring up some kind of trouble. For them, a happy relationship where nothing is wrong is actually a very UNhappy relationship, which needs to be rocked like a ship in a thunderstorm. Those people simply need to find a significant other who finds that endearing and kind of cool. Otherwise, he’ll be off on that questionable weekend in no time.

Thankfully I don’t thrive on drama and I gather my boyfriend wouldn’t do well if I decided to spice up our relationship with a bit of banter.

Now where’s that new blueberry frosted cereal I found the other day?

A New Thing

Many times I’ve caught myself, “Oh, wouldn’t it be great to write down this curious thought I’m having?” Well, to what point and purpose one might ask? That’s certainly a good question… I suppose for the purpose of pure analyzation and speculation, is what I’ll have to answer.

I’ve always loved writing and my wild imagination always begged me to write down my crazy thoughts I’ve only really shared with others maybe half the time. I’ve kept diaries (which I’ve destroyed for fear of others reading) and also kept dream diaries (goodness me, I hope nobody will ever stumble upon those atrocities), but I’ve never actually wrote down the thoughts that occur to me when I come up with an idea, observe a thought, or have a conversation with myself in my mind.

So, perhaps here at least I’ll be able to express the woes of rush hour and how some people simply cannot understand personal space, or how Instagram became our go to place to find out what’s happening in other people’s lives without actually ever even asking them how they’re doing. Fascination shall ensue!